WC 2014: Rise of the Keepers

I've put my world cup apathy on hold during the round of 16 games, as they've turned out to be quite interesting for the most part.  Along the way, a nagging suspicion that a lot of people weren't quite getting what they were seeing was really solidified by an annoying marketing campaign/survey that I ran into a little bit ago.

People keep talking about how this has been a World Cup of underdogs where even the little teams have made an impact and are challenging the traditional powers, which is like a likeable storyline and seems almost believable until you actually stop and realize that literally none of the underdogs made it out of the first elimination round and all of teams going on from this point are major powers. 

What has really impressed me is the spectacular performances of goalkeepers.  This is where the aforementioned annoying marketing campaign/survey comes in.  The question read "what was the Do: More moment of today's games?"  And the choices were between Di Maria's goal, Van Buyten's goal, Lukaku's goal or Green's goal.  No option for anything having to do with the two guys who were absolutely, hands down, the best players in their respective games: Switzerland's keeper Diego Benaglio and the USA's keeper Tim Howard.  How do you put two guys who basically played half-assed until they got lucky enough to score and two other guys who were extra-time substitutes on your poll but leave out the two guys who more or less single-handedly shut down some of the best offensive players on the planet for 120 minutes each?  Quite frankly, if a demented race of soccer-loving aliens suddenly used supernatural powers to kidnap all the players from the matches today and pit them against one another in a supposedly lopsided farce where Benaglio and Howard have to play together with no other support against the combined strikers, wingers and midfielders of Argentina and Belgium all at the same time, the keepers probably would have found a way to win.

Quite frankly, the aliens could make the game even more lopsided by making one team be all the keepers from this week while the other team consists of all the other players who set foot on a pitch this week.  It was just amazing how good these guys were.  Bravo held up Brazil through regulation and extra time, falling only to the awfulness of penalty kicks in the end.  Enyeama frustrated France to no end and was unfortunate that an own goal made the scoreline 2-0, which gives the impression of a worse performance than was actually the case.  M'Bolhi and Howard withstood the utter deluge of shots that Germany and Belgium, respectively, unleashed on their goals until extra time.  Hell, Benaglio nearly even scored with a header against Argentina in the dying minutes of extra time.

And it wasn't just the keepers on the losing sides that performed heroically.  When Julio Cesar saved two penalties against Chile, he did way more for Brazil than Neymar managed to during that game.  And Neuer came so far out of his area to shut down Algerian attacks that he was practically playing midfield. 

These keepers--whether ranked among the best like Neuer or relatively unknown, like M'Bohli--took on the fanciest, glitziest, most hyped, most talked about, highest paid players in the world and (metaphorically) slapped the shit out of them.  Frankly, I was surprised that some of them didn't quite literally slap the shit out of anyone, considering how hard they were staring down their opponents and yelling at their own teammates to get their business together. 

The goal scorers typically get all the press, but this has been a tournament where the goalkeepers have impressed the most of anyone else by far.  So who do you think has been the best?  Who should win the golden glove?  How much money would you pay right now to watch Howard and Neuer slap-fight Messi and Ronaldo? 

Thank You, Luis Suarez

Yesterday's match between Italy and Uruguay pretty much had it all: no scoring, excessive fouling, excessive flopping, poor refereeing--it felt like even the always-excited Mexican announcers were having to dig overly deep into their hype reserves, calling out as though we were witnessing the greatest shot of all time any time that somebody managed to place a kick anywhere within even 10 meters to either side of the goal... but you could tell their hearts weren't in it.

And then everything changed.

A tussle in the box left two players on the ground after another meaningless play.  But something was different this time.  Another ridiculous flopping incident?  No, something is different this time.  Suarez is grabbing his face, Chiellini his shoulder.  The Italian gets up as players gather around the scene and pulls back his jersey, revealing his shoulder.  He's shouting about something... better check the replay... okay, there they are, tussling and bumping into each other... Suarez puts his head in and...

OH.

MY.

GOD.

Did he do it?  Holy crap I think he did.  He did really it.  Again.  He actually bit the guy.  And unlike the last two times I got to see it while it was happening!  Too bad none of the refs did.  I'm sure that years down the line their buddies will enjoy heckling them about it.

"Hey, do you remember where you were the third time Luis Suarez bit someone during a match?" 
"Ohmygosh, yes--that was epic!"
"I know, it was totally crazy!"
*everyone turns and looks at now-retired ref*
"I didn't see anything--I swear!  Please, you guys have to believe me!"

But the awesome didn't stop there.  No, for this is precisely the sort of incident that the internet was made for, because now there will be hilarious memes, gifs and tweets for many a day to come.  And it got even better at the press conferences afterward, where there was no "sorry," no "I didn't mean to," not even a denial a la "no matter what it looks like in the video, things didn't happen that way."  No.  Just a straight-up "these things happen."  Also wonderful: the Uruguayan FA's "sure, Suarez bit someone, but hey, he got hit in the eye too!" line.  It's as though they actually expect people to hear it and say "Why yes, you're right--deliberately walking up to someone and biting them on the shoulder is not only perfectly normal but also no different from throwing your elbow out in self defense when someone walks up and bites you."

Anyhow, I look forward to the saga continuing over the next few days, but for now I am off to look at images of Suarez with various cones and muzzles poorly photoshopped onto his face, how about you?

Edit:  Probably my favorite thing yet:

Solving World Cup Apathy(?)

I recently wrote about my feelings of apathy toward the World Cup.  I feel like I have partially solved that by watching broadcasts of games in other languages including Spanish and another one that I can't identify for sure but seems like it might be Arabic?  In the case of the former, it gives me a chance to dust off my very rusty Spanish skills and in the case of the latter I have no idea at all what the announcers are saying, but they're really, really excited.  Possibly even more excited than the Mexican announcers.  And for what it's worth, the excitement is pretty infectious. You don't even have to speak the language to sense that the announcers are getting super pumped up by the idea of Schweinsteiger coming into the game even if its for no other reason that they're filled with glee over the fact that they get to say his name over and over again.  Or maybe he's like Beetlejuice and you have to say his name 3 times to get him to appear on the pitch?

SCHWEINSTEIGER!

SCHWEINSTEIGER!!

SCHWEINSTEIGER!!!

Go ahead, make my millennium.

New Miniature Releases: Hordes

It's been quite a while since I've played Hordes, but even if I don't know that I'll be able to get back to playing any time soon, I'm still interested in the miniatures although the most recent wave of new releases brings a pretty mixed bag, in my opinion.

We start things off on the poor end of the scale with Horgle Ironstrike, who for me embodies the worst aspects of Privateer Press's recent development of their Trollbloods line.  The trolls were always characterized by tiny legs, tinier feet, big chins and even bigger hands, but I feel like the trend lately has been to emphasize these cartoonish proportions to ridiculous levels.  Poor Horgle's chin looks less like a part of his face than some sort of gelatinous blob oozing out over his left biceps.  And his arms are so long he could probably grab his ankles without bending over.  That said, there are a lot of neat details like the engravings on the weapons and stitching on the clothes that although they don't elevate this mini into the "good" category for me at least make it interesting.

 This one is by far my favorite of the bunch.  Una is a great example of how to make a special character version of a generic figure that already exists (the Overseer).  She has similar staff and stitched-together cape as the regular Overseer but the feathers, hawks and Wonderwoman-esque tiara really give her a unique and (for lack of a better word) special feel.  You can really tell this isn't just some regular minion and quite frankly she has more character than some of the Circle warlocks.  The birds are nicely sculpted too.  Una falls into the category of miniatures I would be happy to paint even though I don't play the faction.

 And then there's Fyanna, who is pretty much the opposite of Una in every way.  She's a character who seems to recall the Legion Striders with her legs but comes across uglier and generally less impressive than than the regular grunts in her faction.  I'm not a fan of the overall look for most of the Legion's infantry in the first place, but Fyanna here really compounds my dislike by adding together ineffective and silly armor, an ineffective and silly weapon, and a boring and static pose.  She just doesn't look very dynamic or intimidating for a mini that's supposed to represent some sort of super blighted elf ninja assassin.  My least favorite of the group. 

Tyrant Zaadesh ends the new releases on a happier note.  I like that he's quite sleek and dynamic; a lot of Skorne minis like the praetorians, paingivers and even the nihilators don't have that feel to them even if they're supposed to be representing highly agile, elite warriors.  Zaadesh captures the "charging into battle" feel pretty well, and although his weapon is kind of silly, his headlong rush would at least lend itself to whacking someone really, really hard with what is essentially a giant cleaver.  One thing I wish they would have done is gone with something other than the static pole with an icon on top at his back.  It's so rigid and straight that it comes across as dulling his movement.  A streaming banner like a lot of the Skorne beasts sport would have contributed more to dynamism of this pose.  Fortunately, that's the sort of thing that can be altered with a conversion, and overall I like Tyrant Zaadesh quite a bit!

The Road to World Cup... Apathy?

We're not even 4 days into World Cup 2014 and already I find myself disinterested in proceedings.  Maybe this will change when Germany finally plays tomorrow, although I'm not sure.  In the meantime though, I find my disinterest interesting. 

As a kid, soccer was that thing that my parents forced me to participate in 3 times per week because you had to force your kids participate in some sort of sport and I wasn't especially good at any of the others.  (I really wasn't good at soccer either, but I was at least not terrible enough at it to shame my mom in front of the other parents as had happened with, say, baseball and basketball.) 

During high school and my undergraduate years, when I did become quite athletic, I enjoyed the game as a recreational activity but never paid any attention to the professional scene anywhere. 

Now that age has teamed up with work and back and foot injuries to severely limit my actual playing time, I find myself increasingly drawn into the sport as a whole and follow the Bundesliga and La Liga as best I can without satellite or cable TV (thanks, internet!). 

But the shift from maximum participation/minimum interest to minimum participation/maximum interest isn't the only irony here, as the World Cup has a special place in all of this.  As a kid, it was the one time when soccer became fun--my brother and I would charge around the park with the other neighborhood kids, pretending to be Germany or Brazil or France or, well, anyone except Argentina since somewhere along the line we had learned that they were dirty, stinkin' cheaters, although we didn't have a clue what "Hand of God" was supposed to refer to.  

Now though, when my interest in the sport has reached its highest level yet, I find myself totally detached from the party atmosphere that the World Cup seemed to bring when I was a kid (and which FIFA and its many sponsors certainly want you to think it will bring no matter what).  In the last 24 hours my sport-related thoughts have focused on:

1. Joy over the Cardinals sweeping the Nationals, followed by furious mental calculation to determine what things might look like if the postseason started tomorrow.  Conclusion/Fantasy: having achieved a wild-card spot in the playoffs, we first crush the Dodgers on our way to turning the tables on the Giants, beating them as badly as they beat us oh-so-painfully-recently to win the pennant, and then we beat whatever AL team comes out on top over there (let's say Oakland, because they are marginally less irritating than most AL teams) to win the World Series.  BOOM.

2. Schadenfreude over the Miami Heat's epic destruction at the hands of the Spurs in game 5.

3. Mild interest over Roger Federer winning the Halle tournament for the 7th time. 

4. Oh, yeah--Switzerland, France and Argentina won their matches against Ecuador, Honduras and Bosnia, respectively... yawn.  Nobody could have possibly projected those outcomes.

But why do I feel so apathetic?  Certainly I think that greater knowledge of FIFA's many, many, many (just insert about twelve more "many"s here) scandals has put a damper on things.  I also find the insistence on the World Cup somehow being the apotheosis of the sport rather irritating.  Because let's face it, if you're looking for the competition that features the highest quality of play, this is definitely not it--that would probably be the Champions League.  Most of the major European clubs in general are better than the national teams that show up for the World Cup (and as far as national teams go, one can certainly argue that the Euro Cup has a higher overall level of quality at least until the format is expanded to become more inclusive). 

Furthermore, while I can definitely point to specific clubs that I follow, I don't feel much connection to any national team.  I'm not sure exactly why this is; I can say "I've lived in Madrid" and "I have friends in Dortmund" and "I've followed Real and BVB's progress for the past 10 months," but I can't do the same for any national team.  I'm an American, but I don't feel any nationalistic urge to support team USA just because I've lived here for most of my life.  Sure, I like it when they do well, but I'm not going to be furiously checking my phone for score updates like I would during el classico or the DFB Pokal. 

If there's a national team I feel most attached to, it's Germany, though again I am not 100% sure why.  Perhaps it's because I've studied German for 17 years now.  Perhaps it's because Germany's was the first jersey that my brother and I ran around the yard in, back when the World Cup was still a big deal.  (Perhaps those two things are subconsciously connected--who knows?)  At any rate, even in this situation my first reaction to the news that Marco Reus had been injured during the international friendly against Armenia was not "Oh no!  Germany will miss out on their best attacker during the World Cup!" but rather "M@*&$%2 F@*%^@# this better not impact his season at BVB next year!"

So, how do you feel about the World Cup?  Do you dig it? Do you just want it to be over with? Do you not care one direction or another?  What makes you a fan or not of national teams?  Regardless of the sport, do you find them as engaging as a domestic/local club or team?

Soccer fun, FIFA... well...

I was going to write about how I'm grudgingly excited about the World Cup, but John Oliver said it already:

The Cutest Bat

I don't normally go in for chibi, but Meridian Miniatures has sculpted a really, really cute evil vampire bat.  Seen here with his pals, who appear to be a kitty assassin, wolf marauder and some sort of cuttlefish sorcerer.

I have pretty much no use for this, but I really kind of want one.  Because bat.

Edit: In case you are not interested in miniatures, here is a photo of a cute, real bat: